Wearing Mama’s t-shirt, I helped another Mama on the other side of the world…
I had a beautiful day spent entirely at one of Phuket’s (Thailand) most beautiful places, Surin Beach. We started with some food and realized there was no kitchen or running water at the place we chose. They are basically temporary setups with tents and plastic chairs which is pretty common here in Thailand. I sat with my butt parked in the sand. One dish was undercooked crab papaya.
I found bad shrimp in my Tom Kha soup. These were our only bad dishes in almost a week in Thailand. As an international traveler I know it comes with the territory.
My buddy Woo said we oughta wash it down with a double tequila and try to kill whatever bacteria we just ingested. I wouldn’t normally wash down my breakfast with 2 shots of tequila but this time I thought, why not? Better safe than sorry.
“I did nothing” after that. I sat with my feet in the sand, thoughts in my head and love in my heart.
If you haven’t already been told, it’s important to have “do nothing” days, no matter how busy you may be, blue collar or white collar. Stop. Get to the water, listen to the waves, “do nothing”. Stare, let your thoughts wander, let go of the anger, let your soul repair itself. It will repair itself. Take it from a man who has suffered more loss than most can even imagine. I tried taking one tablet of a psych med after the loss of my son. I immediately noticed how it altered me, I tossed the rest of the bottle.
Trust me, the Native Indians, the cave men and even you, have everything you need to heal. You scratch your arm, it heals, you break a bone, it heals. Your mind heals too, with time. “Time heals all” and “Love heals all”…You don’t need meds, you need “do nothing” days. If you stay on meds to long you become used to an altered state and when you come off the meds, real life feels altered. Many stay on meds forever, that feeling becomes the normal feeling. When they come off they “think” real life feels wrong and go back on meds.
Healing yourself also requires you allowing yourself to be healed. Are you ready to heal? Ask yourself that question. You cannot rush the healing process but I believe you can take steps to heal sooner rather than later.
Some grief takes days, months and years to pass. To be honest I don’t think the loss of child or a parent, is a grief you’ll ever let go of. So instead I learn to coexist with my grief. I try to do something positive, make some good come out of it (like this blog).
Call your mother, tell her you love her…