Dream Big Kid

Dream Big Kid

Just a good guy doing good

I have removed one more toxic person from my life…

I love motivational stories, motivational quotes and videos. In these materials the one thing I see over and over again is the importance of removing toxic people from your life, even if they’re family.

You see I believe there are only two types of people those that are lifting you up and those that are holding you back. There may be a few in the middle who are doing nothing for you. I believe those people are time-wasters too. See this is what it all comes down to time. That clock is constantly clicking away and it cannot be stopped or turned back. Whether you like it or not your days are numbered. When you’re laying on your deathbed you want to know that you made the most of it. You want to know that you lived a life with little regrets. You will want to know that you tried your hardest. If I could live my life over again there’s only a couple things I would have changed. I live with only one or two regrets and if you get me drunk enough I might even tell you about them. Otherwise I’ll leave them in the past where they belong. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Life without risk is not life at all and I will hold nobody accountable for my decisions except for me.

You’re much better off spending some of your time with someone you know who is trying to lift you, trying to raise you up. Spend time with those who believe in you, the friend you know always encourages you, even if they can’t offer financial support. I had a ton of friends that were poor but good people, who pushed me with words of encouragement whenever I needed it. Like the time I was walking through two feet of snow putting door flyers on homes for pay property tax appeal business I started in my 20s.

Do not waste time with people you only see showing up for parties. You want to hang out with those who are there with you in the Stillness. Those that will help you try to find a solution to your problems. Those who offer suggestions or ideas. Those are the friends you want to keep close.

Life gets busy, and when you are grinding, I mean really grinding, you will not believe how fast the days go by. At times I have inadvertently let the people close to me drift further away than I usually kept them. I did not realize how many weeks had come in between phone calls. Try not to make the same mistakes I made. Technology and cell phones makes reminders easy these days. E.g. “Call Joe every Saturday and Wednesday” and while you’re setting that one up, set up a daily one “call Mom tell her I love her”.

The following is a screenshot of someone I met about 4 years ago I spent a year with her oh, I felt I love her more than anyone previously. There was just one problem I fell in love before I realize she had a problem with alcohol. This person constantly accuse me of being the problem no. She was honestly convinced that I had a drinking problem. What she didn’t know as my mother taught me to never let a woman drink alone. I didn’t realize right away that she had sped up my frequency of drinking. I used to only go out every couple weeks at best. She drinks wine at home almost nightly and was getting drunk almost twice a week back then. She’s happy first one or two drinks, the third or fourth drink she’s a lot of fun. I drink 6 or 7 she is mean violent and spews nothing but anger and hate. The knights usually end with her crying about her past. How everybody has let her down. Her father, her exes. It was actually in ex-boyfriend who is doing business in China selling whiskey the different bars in Shanghai who I am certain created the beginning of her drinking problem. Unfortunately she found her way to the states thinking that she could be a Kardashian. She was only interested in model looking guys with big hair. Quite the opposite of me. I treated her with nothing but love and kindness from the beginning. The sad truth is I know she fell for me it just took her forever to admit it. The words “I love you Angelo” eventually ran from her lips and we became closer after that. I did everything I could for her. Including help her relocate. Even when I realized we could no longer be together. Especially after one event where she made it clear to me she did not want to be a couple yet remained in my house. I took a trip with a friend of Florida and when I came home I found out she almost burned the place down. Apparently she fell asleep with something on the stove the entire kitchen was black. I’m surprised the building to not get evacuated. Thank God she did not die that night. She had to go she relocated to downtown I eventually found her there and helped her make her place a little pink princess palace like she told me she dreamed of. I hung curtains that would stink. I helped her get some other things that made her happy. How she ended up in a $1,300 a month Studio was beyond me. I thought it rather stupid being that she never works. She was leaning on mommy and daddy a lot. She had a plan that she made me quite aware up she would come here find mr. Right and let him pay for everything. She dreamed of finding a rich guy.

We’ve lost touch on and off over the last few years but in the more current times I let her come to visit me in Chicago. I decided to see her right before my trip around the world. I wasn’t sure what would happen to be honest. I didn’t know if we would reignite an old flame, or just not feel the same. It turns out that even though I was the one who was Head Over Heels begging for her attention back there, the thing she did towards the end which included totally scratching my face while I was driving while she was drunk and belligerent, lying to me about where she was and who she was with, particularly a day where she ditched me on Halloween to go be with some old guy who look like a meth addict. I just did not feel the same. I let her stay with me a few days and I avoided intimacy. I knew that would probably have me wrapped around her finger again. I have to constantly remind myself that I am stronger now, that I am the prize. That she needs me, I do not need her like I needed her back then. I was in bad shape when I met her I was struggling. I was trying my hardest to keep my business alive and keep my employees fed because I had reduced are fees by 80% less than our competition.

She returned to California after her short visit with me and we’ve kept in touch. She still gets drunk now and then. I still get 1 a.m. 2 a.m. messages. Lately those messages of told me she is figured out that I am the one. I am the one that she is meant to be with. I know this is drunk talk. She soon forgets the message me the next day. 2 days ago she woke up at 1 p.m. in California her eyes were so puffy I could tell by the video chat she went out and party very hard on Halloween. She said she was getting dressed to go to work and I told her not to even bother. Why? She does the door to door utility switching stuff. She’ll actually makes okay money when she’s working. The problem is she doesn’t work as much as she could, her co-workers probably got out there five hours ahead of her that day. She always cries to me about being broke. Always asks me for help and I’ve been declining. I offer her nothing other than mental support. Encouragement and advise oh, she’s told me to keep it if I’m not going to help her financially. Yep she said it just like that. Allow me to insert a screenshot.

She knows I was so into her back then I would have given anything to marry her back then. There’s a song by Garth Brooks called, unanswered prayers. I would suggest you give it a listen. It talks about how some of God’s greatest gifts are the prayers that he does not answer. You have to trust that everything happens for a reason, big guy in the sky knows what he is doing. I like to take screenshots of the people I care about. I’ve taken happy screenshots and recently I’ve learned to take ugly screenshot so that will be easy to forget the people that I know do not deserve my attention. This was her when I call her to say I was completely disappointed after reading the above text she basically repeated it and you can see her disappointments viewing from her mouth. She is telling me not to call her and encourage her sales that day if that is all I can do. If I’m not willing to help financially she doesn’t need anything for me. I have not blocked anyone in a long time. I have decided to block her today and Life Goes On.

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